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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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The gig is at this sketchy spot near the old market. You know, the one that looks like it could collapse any minute? But the vibe is sick! The music is pumping, and everyone’s dancing like there’s no tomorrow. I’m feeling it, man. I even lose my phone for a hot minute, but I find it in my jacket pocket. Classic me, right?

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